Gender Roles

Visiting a friends room today I noticed how pink she had it. I frequently give her shit about it but it really makes you go back to the same old stuff. Gender roles. I asked if she ever played with any trucks and she said no. I am happy that while my parents didn't like the idea of my playing with dolls with my sister, and cousins they never really forced that on me. I got to dance ballet and tap for 10 years and I wasn't forced into sports. Sure I was bought toys for boys. It's was what I wanted. I was the same as every other boys. There are certain hormonal factors that cannot be ignored. I wanted to FIGHT! Swords and guns and every other thing that a large population of boys play with. But how many do it b choice? A few of the guys I danced with seemed to do it so as not to be forced to play football or futbol. And what about singing? all though there are many straight singers, many of the male one are gay. (Especially here.) And what about women? How do you feel? I can only comment on the path I travelled and saw. Tell me what you think.

ME! :)

I am that guy. you know the one. With singing tourettes. Just random songs random voice parts. It's quite annoying. I usually when singing depending on the genre follow a certain pattern. If it's operatic, or your more early choral music..you can assume that I am taking the soprano one part. I can get up to and E and still have it have a warm tone. Above that it's very harsh. When we get above C6 then it's just hitting the note and trying not to be flat. Yeah. I know I am ridiculous. If it is more modern choral pieces tenor is where it's at. They always get these sexy parts that just give you like a mind orgasim! If it's jazz then obviously the alto part is the best. Being here has given me respect for altos. Because they aren't that exciting. But here...they just...if I could marry one of them. WHOOO! And anything else I take the baritone-bass part. Although the bass voice can be quite unbelieveable. Like those really low gut-wrenching rumbles. Oh man! I do however take music when in choir so seriously. You can ask the highschool tenors, and basses from MG. I was the guy who went and got the teacher when no one was doing anything or when sectionals weren't going like they should've been going. I take it SO seriously. And I frown in choir. I don't know why i just do. I've taken the line that people make me mad but it's a lie. I just don't know why my first reaction is to frown. Maybe it's a genetic disorder. CELLO!!!! I learn so much by ear it's ridiculous. Chances are if you hear me playing..it'll be bad because I am tackling some virtuostic piece and trying to learn by ear. It usually works though. It helps your intonation like you wouldn't believe. Yep. I would have Kicked ass in aural skills. I also never use the practice rooms seriously. I always play in my room. I can really just let it out then. Just let me live in my fantasy world.

Music Students at Concordia College (Moorhead)

Many people would feel blessed to study music here. A world class music program, for the first year an unrivaled choir, and and unbeliev able orchestra and band. Yet for all it's wonder...I feel cursed. A million people start out as music majors and only ten finish. And I've realized why. I didn't abandon my major because it was too hard. Ha. I've lived music for over a decade. More choirs and musicals than people could even image. Choir then school, then musical rehersal. On top of cello, and dance. I am used to the stress. No, it's the people. Never in my life have I met so many horrible people, that honestly believe that they are "nice". They are cruel and vicious and the honestly believe that that is okay. I always get to a point when I consider leaving music. Who wouldn't when it's consumed your life. But NEVER, NEVER have I actually felt this strongly about it. I can't handle the rudeness and the drama. "Oh Concert Choir thinks that they're better than everyone." No, they don't. People treat them like that. Like they should have to apologize about getting in to that choir. And chances are they are better than the people saying it. A real musician would respect them and congratulate them on their accomplishment. I will admit that the most vicious of the perpetrators are in Concert Choir. They are some very very mean people there. But also the nicest people reside there. People with hearts so pure you can't help but smile when you see them. They inspire you to be the best people you can be. "Oh Bel Canto is bad." False. They are better than 90% of other all female college choirs. A few girls every year in Cantabile just need to continue the cycle of really hurting those girls' feelings. Reality check. Most of you will be there next year. Have fun getting a taste of your own medicine. These choral rivalries need to STOP. We are all musicians. Yes some of us are more talented than the others. It's life. Don't make people suicidal by letting them know that every chance you get. Because chances are, (yet again) there are thousands if not tens of thousands of people better than you. It's very hard to want to continue here. This is highschool drama magnified to an extent that is unbelieveable. The worst paart of it all..is that I am becoming like these people here. And I will literally KILL myself before I let that happen completely. Because that is not what I am about or what music is about. Music is about sharing yourself with others. Expressing your emotions and being at peace. How can you sing a beautiful song about your lord and then 5 minutes later spread rumors or say something that crushes someone. To say you try to follow in his footsteps is a lie. Concordia is ONE. We maybe divided for a bit, but we are one music family. Hm. I am whining. I am bitching. I am everything you're thinking. And the sad part is I am the only one.